THE UGLY DUCKLING

1/7/2023

By Olajumoke Yusuf

Ezra shifted uncomfortably and prayed to God that the slow Lagos traffic would soon ease up so he would get out of this predicament. Earlier that morning, he had heard a little whimpering sound while raining expletives on his car that refused to work. The vet in Ezra wouldn’t let it go, and when he leaned to check under his car, he found a duck drenched in the rain and shivering from the cold. On close inspection, he discovered that the duck’s beak looked a bit crooked and had a broken leg. Oddly, it reminded him of the children’s storybook “the ugly duckling.” Obviously, the bird had been abused.

Now, the logical thing for Ezra to do would have been to go back inside his house and give the duck some sort of first aid, but he had wasted too much time on his car and was late. He also had a nine o clock appointment with a rather difficult client. Resolutely, he picked up the duck gently, careful not to jostle it so he wouldn’t aggravate its wounds, and laid it in his backpack. The duck sensing it was safe, put its head down and slept.

So Ezra walked extra carefully to the bus stop and prayed that the duck would keep sleeping until he got to work. He should have known that prayer wouldn’t be answered. First, he was roughly shoved by the conductor into the Danfo bus, and then he sat beside a woman who probably should have paid for two seats in order for her to sit comfortably. So he was basically squished. He kept his bag at arm’s length and hoped that the duck would keep sleeping, and for a while, it seemed like he would make it to work without any mishaps until that godforsaken traffic holdup happened.

Ezra heard a little whimper, and he knew it came from the duck. He could feel the woman staring quizzically at him, but he kept his eyes forward. Maybe if he ignored her, she wouldn’t say anything. The duck whimpered again, and the woman started to inch further from Ezra. It happened again, and the woman let out a guttural scream.

“Egbami! Egbami! This man has a child in his bag. He has kidnapped a baby. Egbami!”

Every pair of eyes on that bus turned to look at Ezra, and it was at that moment he knew that he was in trouble. People didn’t hesitate to lynch supposed criminals in this part of town. Before Ezra could say anything, two of the biggest men on the bus were standing in front of him, demanding to see his bag's contents. The woman was still screaming. Even the driver had stopped driving and was looking back menacingly.

“I don’t have to show you what’s in my bag. It’s not a baby. I can assure you that.” Ezra feebly attempted to defend himself.

One of the men snatched the bag from him and started to open it.

“Please be careful!”

Startled, the duck opened its eyes and quacked loudly. The man dropped the bag in surprise.

“Na duck dey inside here. Wetin you wan use am do? You wan use am do ritual abi?!”

At this point, the duck was agitated and quacking loudly, and Ezra kept trying to defend himself.
Angrily, he brandished his identity card so they could all see he was a vet.

“Next time, make you try dey talk. You for don die like that.” One of the men said jokingly and slapped Ezra on the back in a friendly gesture.

People dropped their phones, and the driver began the journey once more. This was a typical morning in Lagos for them.

“I still think say you be yahoo boy,” the woman beside Ezra whispered, and he prayed to God to give him the strength not to say anything and arrive at his workplace safely. In the same breath, he cursed his mechanic for doing a shoddy job and landing him in this situation.

Writer's Biography

Olajumoke Yusuf is passionate about reading and writing. She spends most of her time buried in one book or the other. She absolutely loves fantasy and mythology, and her favourite authors are Sarah J Maas and Rick Riordan. She hopes to one day publish a book about the orishas of Yoruba land.

Currently, Olajumoke is studying for her master's degree in communication and media studies at Lagos State University.

18 Comments

Org Da Silva

3/7/2023 07:18:01 am

😂😂😂 , the problems of the big city

Ogundeko Toluwanimi Alexis

3/7/2023 11:42:06 am

This piece would especially be relatable and humorous to an average Lagos city resident who uses public transportation to go to work. It shows the typical commuters you would likely see in a Danfo bus (a transport bus popular in Lagos city), loud, funny and most times unwilling to mind their business. Overall, a funny and amusing piece

Alobu Emmanuel

4/7/2023 01:34:38 am

Honestly! You Gerrit!😂

Abdulrasheed Diana link

5/7/2023 01:59:38 am

I've never been to Lagos, but this scene rebranded an already existing image of what I imagine Lagos to be like every morning. The writers imagery is powerful. she painted she scene beautifully and clearly. It made my imaginations travel. Making me feel as though I was there. I'd like to believe that the kind act of this man saved him from the hurdles that would have ordinarily happened to him.

Evidence

5/7/2023 09:01:34 am

My first impression of this book is that of hilarity. I found myself chuckling as it is a totally relatable story.
My thoughts:
Reading with the grain, the story is basically that of the conventional life of Lagosians. Traffic congestion, quack mechanics, rough conductors, reckless driving and above all, the "everybody is a suspect" perspective. However, connotatively, one sees how violence has become the go-to for people from low-income backgrounds. These sets of people, frustrated by the government and the world they are forced to live in would not hesitate to vent their frustrations even to the point of killing. It is almost as if they expectedly lie in wait for "preys".
Again, the duck can be a representation of the weak, feeble and helpless. Indeed, in a city filled with violence, some of these are left in the cold hands of hunger, sickness and even death. While the duck in this story finds help, most are usually unlucky and either end up in wrong hands or die miserably.
Ultimately, while at a surface level the story evokes laughter, it unmistakably captures the callousness, brutality and violence of City life.

5/7/2023 03:54:15 pm

Wow! What a refreshing story, Jumoke!

It was as if I was in the bus too. Couldn't stop laughing at the end.😂 The piece shows the poet's mastery in imagery.

Also, if I may, I'd say the overuse of ‘adverbs’ made the story lag a little. The words, "resolutely", "gently", "roughly", "comfortably", "basically"... I suggest that, perhaps, employing art of ‘showing’ rather than ‘telling’ should help.

Aside this, I reiterate that this is a refreshing
story. The characters... I particularly love the vet. :)

Olajumoke Yusuf

6/7/2023 11:53:51 am

Hi Emmanuel,
Thank you for your beautiful review! I’m glad you enjoyed. I will take your notes into consideration. Thanks for the constructive criticism🤗

Ajani Olajumoke

6/7/2023 12:03:17 pm

I enjoyed reading this.
Well done Jumoke

Abashin link

6/7/2023 01:07:57 pm

“Next time, make you try dey talk. You for don die like that.” Lagosians are always angry !😂

Ozichukwu link

6/7/2023 02:51:31 pm

What a lovely story you have here...it was interesting and I found reasons to keep going

Isreal

6/7/2023 03:59:46 pm

I'm glad I was one of the exclusive readers of this . Reading it again and it's feels like the first time.. nice piece.. I dey anticipate more

Aisha B

17/7/2023 12:32:37 am

This was a really well-written and funny story. Right from the start, the reader is enraptured with Ezra who is instantly relatable in the choices he makes.

The scene in the bus is relatable as well, for anyone who has used public transport, especially in busy states such as Lagos. While the scene escalated, it was hard not to break into fits of laughter especially at the final words from the woman on the bus.

Overall, I really loved reading this.

Dzungwe Johnmark Tertsegha link

17/7/2023 03:49:34 pm

Wow! I love the story. This is great work, you are able to establish and maintain the long suspense. Ending with surprise of what is common but no reader will though of at the beginning.

Solomon T. Hamza link

23/7/2023 07:28:43 am

To be candid, I was enjoying the short story that I didn't know when I got to the end. It was succinctly written and well crafted showing an overview of what an everyday Lagosian life is.
The setting of the story is in an urban area with so much population and people having similar incomes and even though the writer didn't stata that in her story, my guess is a mainland town in Lagos. The tone is a light one since the writer introduced humour into it.
The ugly duckling is a story about a veterinary doctor who rescued an injured duck under his car and his act of professionalism and kindness almost landed him into trouble, into the ultimate judgement of jungle justice save for his I.D. card. We can see how the writer used themes of helplessness, marginalization and kindness in her story one which poses a question to it's readers; are we willing to help another helpless human even in the face of death?
I love how she also painted a relatable lifestyle of a particular city that readers of other towns and city can relate to. Is it the formidable traffic of Lagos? or the roughishness of the drivers and conductors? or the bad temperamental attitude of clients especially those at the highest hierarchy of wealth? or the shine your eyes of Lagosians? "Don't trust anybody syndrome" which has increased due to the rising ritual killings going on in the country.
The writer also employed the use of imageries and suspense in her story likening it to a children fable," the ugly duckling written by a Norwegian writer where the writer coined the title of her story.
Our everyday life is a fable, a story for others to learn, a story between the good and the ugly, between doing what is right or what is wrong all depending on our various perspective of life.
A wonderfully written story from a master storyteller. I'm rating this story a 4.9/5.

Akinlotan Seun Deborah

29/7/2023 03:25:14 pm

Okay, this was funny and I have to say, it was really sweet of Ezra to rescue the bird from its predicament. Not a lot of people would do that, no, definitely not in Lagos!

The story was so inspiring, so full of humor and if you're like me who thought to read this many times but didn't because you don't like reading long write-ups, I'm here to tell you that stories like this is gonna help you overcome that.
Thank you so much Olajumoke, if I may call you that, for such a wonderful story. We hope to see more of this!

Adewusi Omotolani link

29/7/2023 06:49:17 pm

Woes of living in the city!, as refreshing and somewhat funny the story is, it shows the dark side of hasty people that are so quick to end innocent lives due to impatience and fellow passengers who like to cry wolf at any little inconvenience.

Let’s all try to be patient in all we do and practice speaking up in time so we won’t fall victim to hasty punishment.

Olayinka Yaqub link

30/7/2023 01:55:21 am

Lagos traffic is legendary—but what can be more chaotic, outrightly hilarious, or unnerving as the case may be, is the scene inside a public transport in Lagos.

Danfo drivers are notoriously funny, their conductors mostly stiffly unfriendliness, and the passengers?You can never tell. Every day in a public transport in Lagos is one to be surprised. Today,you may sit near an almost mad man, tomorrow it can be someone else. Such is life in Lagos.

And Olajumoke seems to have not only witnessed but lived through many Lagos traffic and danfo hilarious happenings to have succinctly captured the mundane everyday hilarity in THE UGLY DUCKLING.

This short piece about a vet doctor saving a duck on his way to work and putting it in his bag, only to be accused of child kidnapping in a Lagos danfo is a perfect example of "Anything Can Happen In a Lagos Bus" and how crazy some of these events can be. I like that the piece utilized relatable Lagos tropes: the unfriendly conductor, the passengers discomfort, the quick accusations always thrown about in buses like this, the fear of being lynched at the slightest because Lagos is a city of such. It's all so relatable, the typical Lagos experience. It's commendable that Olajumoke has managed to fuse together the ordinary to create this masterpiece.

My interpretation: this piece is a symbolic representation of the kind of people you'd encounter in Lagos. It's a city of many people, yet there are the constant stereotypes. First, the woman who accused Ezra of child kidnap is a representative of typical "busybody" you'd find in Lagos, always quick to launch accusations and always suspicious. Ezra himself represents the minority of Lagosians who, despite this city's grim nature, still remain kind hearted . The duck represents the hurt ones, the ones lower on the chain of chain, the one trampled upon, hurt, the needy ones. Lagos is a city of class, and where there's the higher-ups, there's also those at the bottom. I feel the characters in this story represents categories of different people you'd find in Lagos.

One thing i'd like to critic here is, a true depiction of Lagos would have been to let the men get violent—or almost—with Ezra before finding out the real content of the bag. After all, Lagos is one city people are quick to such action.

Anyways, kudos to Olajumoke. This piece definitely elicited a laugh from me.

Ayomide Deborah

30/7/2023 04:49:03 pm

As a typical Lagos girl myself, I can relate to Ezra's predicament. From a faulty car to an uncomfortable Danfo bus ride to the life-draining traffic to the unruly behaviors of fellow passengers.

The symbolism in this writing is uncanny, especially in relation to the class of people you encounter in Lagos. First, the woman signifies the typical "oversabis" you'd find in Lagos. Quite like the woman, they are always quick to point fingers without actually investigating or assessing the situation. The passengers represent the typical spectators in Lagos who would rather "record for likes" than help those who are in need. Thus, there is a high rate of indifference in the world, as people are more concerned with the followers they get than the lives of others.

Ezra represents those who always try to help those in need despite their own situation. These people are rare and special, especially in our present day situation, not just in Lagos. Lagos is a class based society, and the duck represents the ones on the bottom of the food chain who are trampled upon, harmed, and ignored by others. While the men in the bus symbolize the type of individuals in Lagos who " attack first, ask questions later". These people tend to be violent and cause harm to innocent individuals without properly examining the situation.

The characters are lively and vibrant, and the scenes are well described, especially the part where the woman was screaming "Egbami! Egbami!". Ezra is quite composed, as most individuals in that predicament would react negatively and cause a scene.

The themes of helplessness and kindness, mistrust and violence, and the life of the average citizen are well applied in this story. I also love the use of pidgin language, which makes the story more realistic.

Overall, the story is comedic, relatable and well-written. I applaud the author's writing style and use of suspense, imagery, and fables (Ugly Duckling). She definitely did justice to the struggles of an average Lagosian's daily life. Definitely, worth the read.

THE UGLY DUCKLING

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Copyright @SprinNG

THE UGLY DUCKLING

Leave a Reply.

Copyright @SprinNG​

Copyright @SprinNG