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THE RISING SUN

1/10/2022

6 Comments

 
By Onah, Godday Ejiofor
Picture
This rising sun shall bear me witness
That these children of mine
Where once battered
And robbed of their robes
And shoes and crowns
And chased into the deep dark forest
Where they sojourned for years
Famished and finished,
Their flesh turned manure to the soil,
But their souls and spirits lived.
This sun, you shall bear me witness
That from these dust and ruins they rose
Sprouting like a tottering rotten grain
They scattered over the soil of the earth
Like grains of sand carried by wind and water
They began to mount their stake.
Picture
Writer's Biography

Onah, Godday Ejiofor is an undergraduate English and Literary Studies student at Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. He is the author of Shadows and Apparitions, and his poetry and short stories have featured in many anthologies, including the Nigerian students' poetry Anthology, Writers Space Africa.
6 Comments
Glory Omole
10/10/2022 09:05:05 am

The rising sun is a witness to everything done under the heaven..Nice piece Onah, it meant something to me.
There's a witness under the sun which is the sun itself.
How I wish it could speak all it has witnessed.

Reply
Daniel Kehinde Olalekan
10/10/2022 10:28:37 am

Without exaggerating anything, this poem is heavy. The rhythm, language, imagery and figures of sounds used in the poem are top-notch. The line break is excellent. Diction, too. Will never fail to mention the refraining of "And" in lines 4 - 6.

I love the opening of the poem. It launches me into a state where I can imagine a personified sun witnessing all the cruel and gruesome outputs of man on earth. When cruelty abound, this poem, like some many others, makes us understand that children tend to suffer more. The children, "famished and finished," "turned manure to the soil." How horrible losing one's children to hunger, to cruelty, to grief!

Remarkably, your excellent use of alliteration is not without notice. It flourishes, with intention, in the poem: "robbed...robes" (L4), "famished and finished" (L8), "souls and spirits" (L10), "ruins...rose" (L12), "scattered...soil" (L14).

The similes and metaphors make comprehension easy, too. The poem flows with so much richness. Closing the poem with "they scattered over the soil of the earth/Like grains of sand carried by wind and water/They began to mount their stake" is commendable too.

In short, I love your piece, man. Well done.

PS: "Where" in line 3 could have been "were."

Reply
Esther Nwani
10/10/2022 02:39:02 pm

Indeed, nothing is hidden under the sun

Reply
Olamide Ojediran link
11/10/2022 11:43:29 am

Indeed, the sun bears witness to all man's suffering. Your poem was short but carried a deep meaning. Didn't quite understand line 2 and 3 in the second stanza. Where in line 3 of the first stanza should've been were.
Your poem gives me the impression that you're a deep person🤗🤗

Reply
Jeremiah
12/10/2022 06:36:06 am

Reading once, reading twice, reading again because this is a beaut.

Reply
Syntyche Omeinyinyi Success
14/10/2022 11:53:18 am

The sun is an absolute witness.

Poor thing the sun cannot speak, but then it does speak.

Someday,

Our tormentors will be brought to book

Or rather,

We would be compensated for the atrocities that were committed against us.

Because the sun (something under) was a witness.

Beautiful piece.

Reply



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  • Publications
    • Anthologies >
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      • 2020 Why I Write
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    • Nigerian Writers Database
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