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SKELETON

1/3/2023

7 Comments

 
By Akubudike Deborah
Picture
let me teach you how to be / a girl / without rubbing the rough edges of a stone / on another. bury all the clothes / in a thin line / not broad shoulders / not on technical drawing boards. / 

at school, we drew lines a lot till / they became a part of me / obscure figures / an arc struck over two girls who know the taste of brimstone / licking it off their burning vulvas / trying not to draw any attention / 
all the dirty clothes lie / deep within a closet / not letting the sunshine come through. i am called / a name & my body draws it in / this technical approach / a chain of smoke i hang on. lurking deep within me is a boy, / who tells me / he's decided to break down / the doors. i am fighting / a beast a mother raised / on my own. 

let me teach you how to be / a girl / without giving you a name / setting the grades of meat by the roadside / without / you telling me this isn't right / & i don't agree. in this world / you can't air the damp clothes / so they remain in the closet / & the stench grows into a man / telling you / how to be a girl.
Picture
Writer's Biography

Akubudike Deborah is an emerging poet and lyricist. Her works have been featured in The Rialto, Brown Sugar Lit Mag, and elsewhere.

Blog: http://adpoet.home.blog/ 
7 Comments
Ahmad Imam Aishah
6/3/2023 05:34:42 pm

I believe an attribute of good poetry is the gold of deducing meanings from it. For readers to be able to read it whole and create a view entirely different from the writer's. I believe this piece did that to me. 👏

I will suggest you try and construct your lines more neatly for better comprehension & that you build your images more vividly 😊.

Reply
Wisdom Adediji
8/3/2023 03:41:43 pm

This poem screams more of girlhood, It's really a nice piece. “ let me teach you how to be / a girl / without rubbing the rough edges of a stone / on another. ” This line hits harder, but I believe using slash symbols in a poem indicates line breaks. Perhaps, if that's the case, this poem lacks proper structure. I feel you should've just added slash at the end of a sentence, except if too long.
For example, instead of saying— “ let me teach you how to be / a girl / without rubbing the rough edges of a stone / on another. "

You can just say— ” let me teach you how to be a girl / without rubbing the rough edges of a stone on another. "

Reply
Mercy Akpan
11/3/2023 06:41:07 pm

Amazing read, but the arrangements is faulty, somehow. The strokes occur too frequently.

Reply
Arinze Daniel Udoye
12/3/2023 08:08:33 am

Let me teach you how to be a girl: what I learnt from the poem is how society wants to control the lives of girls and tell them how to behave

Reply
Joshua
13/3/2023 10:59:34 pm

This would have been a great read if it was better structured

Reply
Isaiah Iko Alfa
14/3/2023 06:32:56 pm

Quite an interesting piece! Kudos to the poet, your imagery is good.

Reply
Temitope Oni link
16/3/2023 12:32:41 pm

This is a really deep poem, you have to think deeply to deduce what she's saying. The central theme I see here is gender identity crisis and trying to conform to societal norms while hiding what you feel is your true self.

The structure reminds me of Literature class in secondary school when we put slashes in poems while trying to analyze it. I had to take time to analyze this poem with the pause the slash indicated and it opens the reader up to a whole new meaning.

While arranging the poem in lines would have increased the aesthetic appeal, I feel the meaning and effect the writer is going for might have been lost.

In all I enjoyed how the poem made me think deep about what it might or might not mean, its been a while.

Reply



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