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If God was a Nigerian BY ​Othuke Umukoro

3/9/2019

13 Comments

 
If God was a Nigerian
ASUU would strike him
till his sorrow grows a beard.
 
He would be a Yahoo boy or a pimp or a drug dealer
or an innocent girl on the cold & dark streets of
Italy tendering white men’s amorous dreams
or all of the above.
 
He would be a potbellied politician
that swallowed (y)our children's future,
& that of their children's children.
 
They would have slaughtered him, like
Ramadan rams, in Benue or
bandaged him with bombs in Borno.

His children’s life expectancy in the
Niger Delta would be around
9 or 10 (that’s a conservative statistic)
—all they would ever have are: a bowl
of oil spills for breakfast, a plate of
greenhouse emissions for dinner
& grief sandwiched between.
 
He would die crossing the
Mediterranean or sold for peanuts in Libya.
 
He would yelp & complain on the mad streets of twitter
but will never come out to vote out oppression.
 
The sun would die in his mouth in Kirikiri
or other eyeless places where those who try to
sing new songs are stripped, chained & tortured.
 
He would not be in school but on the
sidewalk, holding a blue plastic
bowl for your damn pity or under
the leprous stare of the sun cleaning
your windshield at a red light.
 
SARS would shoot him & the government hospital
they will rush him to will not have electricity.
 
He would be a broke ass poet like me.

​Othuke Umukoro is a poet & playwright. His demons have appeared, or are forthcoming in The Sunlight Press, Brittle Paper, AfricanWriter, Eunoia Review & elsewhere. His debut play Mortuary Encounters, (Swift publishers, 2019) is available HERE
When bored, he watches Everybody Hates Chris. He is on twitter: @othukeumukoro19 
13 Comments
ZenPens link
16/9/2019 10:05:32 pm

Oh my goodness. This is simply apt. I'm sure God won't want to be a Nigerian after reading this. 😂

Reply
Oluwagbadura
16/9/2019 11:59:42 pm

If God was a Nigerian, we'd have nothing to worry about. None of these phase him. Omniscient means all knowing. If God was a Nigerian we'd have no issues at all

Reply
Alilonu Collins
16/9/2019 10:17:50 pm

Smiles.
If God were a Nigerian, he probably wouldn't be in Nigeria.
If God were a Nigerian, he probably might have been burnt alive, or stoned to death somewhere in South Africa.
If God were a Nigerian, he probably won't be online because PHCN wouldn't give him electricity to be online.
If God were a Nigerian, he would pray to God not to be a Nigerian.

Thank God 'God' is not a Nigerian. 😊😊😊

Reply
Odimegwu Onwumere link
16/9/2019 10:30:00 pm

God is a Nigerian
and Air Peace rescued Nigerians
from xenophobic South Africans.

God is a Nigerian,
he introduces hardship
knowing that out of hardship
comes out miracles.

God is a Nigerian
introducing different talents
in different persons.

God speaks through the works
of Achebe, Soyinka... even Othuke Umukoro.

God is a Nigerian
with Nigeria relishing with landmass,
arable lands, natural resources and enviable talents.

God is a Nigerian
being the reason Dora Akunyili once said:
"Nigeria! Good People, Great Nation".

God is a Nigerian.

Reply
Sunday Daniel
16/9/2019 10:56:20 pm

This is a masterpiece, it will definitely be regarded as one of the greatest poems ever.

Reply
Victor
17/9/2019 01:13:28 am

This is so meaningful. But I think God is a Nigerian. Truth is that we are all images of God and if we could be all this, God is a Nigerian.
I love this poem.

Reply
Maxwell
17/9/2019 01:58:54 am

God is always a Nigerian. For we are blessed in disguise,
God is surely a Nigerian so mysterious is He
God is God, yet Nigeria is Nigeria

Reply
Felix
17/9/2019 03:02:09 am

Oh my! This is a beautiful piece. I love the poem. I love even more how the writer used creativity and ingenuity to bare some of this nation's societal ills through poetry.

If only I was God, the creative mind behind this sublime poetry would no longer be Nigerian.

Reply
Dorcas
17/9/2019 03:21:29 am

In very of the aesthetical content. Again, Isaac Othuke spews his pain into our eyes. Quite striking imageries that one could clearly see himself in the lines and stanzas.
Othuke uses symbols that are readily assessable by his readers and one that can easily be reckoned with!
Brilliant piece!

Reply
Kiki
17/9/2019 09:33:28 am

He would complain on Twitter instead of vote.
This did it for me.
We are so occupied with trends but never tend to do anything they will bring change.
This sums up Nigerias current what's the worst that happen list.
Like his arrangement, you keep being yep yep at every line.
Good job

Reply
Hafsah
19/9/2019 04:42:51 pm

This poem speaks to me for so many reasons. First, because I am Nigerian and the rest, because... Wow! This is a poet close to my heart. Someone who can portray the ugly problems of Nigeria in a beautiful poem like this. Let's just call this a masterpiece and call it a day. More ink to your pen. More glory to your days. Keep on being great.

Reply
abbey amonia link
26/2/2020 08:08:19 am

my dear lit teacher u are so creative and amazing

Reply
you must not know
8/12/2022 06:00:33 pm

mad oo

Reply



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