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​In a secret romance with doubts

1/6/2022

9 Comments

 
By Modester Chinonyelum
Spill me like a gin unto the earth
Let my blood leave the ground brown
That is how I bury myself in oblivion
There is a railway running through my heart
A dark train in a tunnel
This shadow is a light leading me through 
 
My body is an unusual temple
Desecrated by blasphemous teeth and tongue
These sins are bracelets on my teeth
I cannot be rid of them
Like a deer I flee from these murderous lions
As these little demons chase their prey
Picture

Hurdles of doubts on this path push me down
But my legs outweigh my will to stand
My hands stretch to salvation
There is a fire burning in my soul
Like a drunk staggering home, I give up not
But everywhere pulls me in like a grave
 
This struggle eats my soul away
Bit by bit, till I'm all crumbs and bones
What a time to be a buffet
Tonight, I dine with my army of mistakes 
Yet I would become the gourmet
Picture
Writer’s Biography
Modester Chinonyelum is a creative writer from the suburbs of Abakaliki, Ebonyi State, Nigeria.
 
With her keen interest in creative writing, she contributes to a weekly column at Citizen's Advocate, a local media outlet in Abakaliki. In addition, she led a debate team in her secondary school days and wrote articles for the school press club board. She also served as an Editor for the school magazine where her writings were published.
 
Since 2018, Modester has created content on lifestyle and societal issues, having learned the fundamentals of Copywriting, serving as an assistant under an expert. She has written over a hundred blog posts for websites.
 
She is an alumnus of the 2021 SprinNG Writing Fellowship. While she aspires to get published by journals and contribute to more literary platforms, her poems can be found at Mirakee (mercurial), a writing-based social platform.
 
Her writing career started from childhood as she spent most time reading novels and writing stories.
9 Comments
Jane
2/6/2022 02:28:53 pm

Nice one..

Reply
Loveth
3/6/2022 12:45:37 pm

Great one, Modester.
Keep up the shine🤩

Reply
Rita
3/6/2022 08:49:43 pm

This is wonderful

Reply
Jide
3/6/2022 09:44:46 pm

Keep up the good work the Lord is ur strength

Reply
Zainab
13/6/2022 03:44:51 pm

Nice write-up. I love how each imagery describes how doubt eats away at a person, and the constant raging in one's mind. The first three lines leave a resounding thought in my brain. The idea if burying oneself in Oblivion, gives me the though of trying to ignore one's mind, or trying desperately to find peace by being absent, totally wow!

Reply
Esthere
15/6/2022 07:04:04 am

Ahn ahn! Modester!
How can I be dining with my mistakes and yet merry in it? #clap for yourself# this word play is palatable 😉
It's truly a secret romance with doubt! Because we alone know how it tastes in our mouths when we're in doubts.
I appreciate the honesty. This is a reality piece. The imagery, words are 💯% perfect for me. Keep writing dear!

Reply
Promise
19/6/2022 01:34:24 pm

Great write up.

Reply
Olamide Ojediran
20/6/2022 10:03:14 am

This piece is one of the best I've read. The 1st and 2nd lines in the third stanza tells me of times where I would not want to believe in my doubts but they take over my mind with different thoughts. As an overthinker, who kind of doubt most things, this poem speaks to my soul. Thank you Modester, great things await you❤

Reply
Solomon Timothy Hamza link
23/6/2022 05:43:42 am

' spill me like a gin unto the Earth'
Wow! I love the imageries painted in the poem. Sometimes, self doubt can be as treacherous as a hungry lion roaring to wolf you down. Overthinking about the past especially mistakes made does nothing but keeps you in the same spot. The poet did well to explain that as well.
I equally loved the way she took us from how the self doubt grew, tugging at her mind about the silly mistakes she had made in the past to the point where she becomes powerful enough to try to fight it even though it's a tough struggle for her. We can see that in her third stanza ' there's a fire burning in my soul'.
In the end, the poet acclaimed her power over her self doubt and her past in her last lines,' Tonight I dine with my army of mistakes and yet, I become the gourmet'.

Reply



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