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I KNOW HOW BRUISED A VOICE COULD BE

1/9/2021

4 Comments

 
By Ugochukwu Damian Okpara
Picture
Stress warning: The following contains material relating to mental health struggles and trauma in no particular order, which may be triggering to victims and survivors.
i know how violence is packaged like a souvenir in a man’s throat / i’ve seen its silhouette once or twice or maybe thrice around my father’s Adam’s apple / today /  i wake to it in another man’s throat / still / the birds on my window squeak / as though to say / this pain isn’t entirely yours to mourn or even yours at all / true / in this picture / there’s a woman next door whose voice mirrors mine / i think i know how bruised a voice could be / but i have no idea how to make a ghost of it / in the next picture / there’s me / alone / save for the birds / still the violence dancing through the man’s throat waltzes through me / till i become a boy running from home again & again / in the re-imagination of self / let’s begin by saying / that my memory is a fog / & all my life / i’ve known men to leave water droplets behind it  / even when i still cannot see my reflection / this is why i live in old wounds /  & still running / desperately picking old pieces of myself from my father / brother / & sometimes the men who called me sissy / i want to believe that i am worth knowing / this is why i’m home to every pain i behold
4 Comments
Omole glory
6/9/2021 09:32:55 am

Wow... The word play is exhilarating.. Violence packaged like souvenir is the most painful part of violence.. Kudos to you man 😘

Reply
Evans UGOCHUKWU Alozie
6/9/2021 10:13:37 pm

My name sake, the depth in the voice of one who is bruised feels like one with hands heavyly stained with blood. Thats just how real this write up is. Keep writing from the heart. You're called for this.

Reply
Temitope
8/9/2021 03:16:02 pm

I could literarily see the man’s Adam’s apple and the first line is 🔥🔥

Reply
Funmilola
23/9/2021 08:41:36 pm

With an an obvious air of melancholy, I particularly enjoyed how the writer infuses a bit of hope in this piece. "I want to believe I am worth knowing." Yes, you are. No one is their past. or their mistakes. or the things they try to overcome.

What I understand is this persona wants a new life. a better one. one devoid of pain and old wounds. but it's almost like an endless cycle of running towards what you are running away from.

But still, you are worth knowing.

Reply



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