Click HERE to Read Opeyemika's Biography on the Nigerian Writers Database.
I write because I want to kill as many as possible before death comes for me.
One Sunday morning, I stared as Pastor Uzor took his seat after presenting his opinion on why we should pay our tithes. Everyone nodded and applauded as he wiped his sweaty face. I stood. I started saying the reasons why I feel Pastor Uzor could be wrong. Mr. Kay left. Mummy Bisi winked at me, the Yoruba style of "sit down you this boy, what do you think you know?" When my Dad looked at me with contempt, I sat and wrote.
Every day, I meet a Pastor Uzor. Today, at the newspaper stand where we argue about football, tomorrow, in the Twitter thread where we discuss feminism in Nigeria. He shouts his views to the world and never cares about my diverging views.
The moment I stand up in an attempt to deliberate with him to see reason, his fans attack me. Or better still, they ignore me. I can never be right if Pastor Uzor is already, and I don't agree with him.
Friends and family come as my Dad ready to fight if my stance is different. They will shoot with their Ak-47 mouths about how stupid I sound.
Pastor Uzor is happy when they silence me. At least, they will listen to him without interruptions. That is why I try to kill him. Also, I want to unshackle my Dad. Pastor Uzor need not push hard with his opinion; all he has to do is appeal to the emotions of our Sunday school class members. Sometimes it is so easy he doesn't sweat.
I must silence Pastor Uzor if my voice is ever going to be heard. He must die if my opinion will ever make sense to his zombies. I take out my book to write because I want to murder Pastor Uzor.
On paper, Pastor Uzor is dead. Or at least he is silenced.
I write because I am a murderer whose gun is ink and whose bullets are my opinions that Pastor Uzor drowns out. I will shoot as long as a Pastor Uzor still walks the face of Planet Earth.
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