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a flash fiction by adenuga adepeju

1/4/2020

8 Comments

 
Click HERE to Read Adepeju's Biography on the Nigerian Writers Database.
Picture
As a heavy downpour persists, I glance from the window seat of a yellow bus, and there is an inescapable urge to put my thoughts into writing.

The passenger to my right now rests on my shoulder; he probably strained his neck to complete my story. I shift my shoulders to jog him back to reality as his stench announce my surroundings. 

The bus driver smiles at me using the rear-view mirror, assuming my overtly nosy neighbor and I are a couple. God forbid, I entangled with a bucktooth, bean head, idiot.

In time, the stories I must tell, the stories I seek to tell, and the ones I have told, rage.

And until they are out, I do not rest.

Click HERE to read the download and read the full SprinNG 2019 Mentees Anthology.
8 Comments
Salimat Atere
3/4/2020 09:19:11 am

This is something you must experience on a bus...it is a totally relatable piece.

Reply
Lydia Ritaro link
10/4/2020 07:12:41 am

Expressing your thoughts and daily experience through writing.. Persistency and diligence is the key to making it happen... Great piece we've got here

Reply
Tamarapreye Jordan Emenyeonu
12/4/2020 12:49:24 am

Nice piece,pray the grace of the almighty follow you to continue your work.

Reply
Abidemi Oguntunji
12/4/2020 01:05:27 pm

This flash fiction is clearly a masterpiece. It appeals to my five senses
which include:
1. Visual: Sense of Sight.
I was able to imagine that 'window seat of a yellow bus'. It is somehow related to the typical Molue (A kind of bus Lagos is known for) experience. The 'smile' of the bus driver can also be relatable here.

Pardon me, I don't reside in Lagos but I have been to Lagos once or twice. These transport drivers are hostile. The smile of the driver passes a different meaning to the story. It could have been replaced with a 'frown' and the driver being jealous of the public display of love could have been assumed by the readers.

2. Auditory: (Sense of Sound)
The sound of the 'heavy downpour' against the roof of the bus also brings more meaning to the story. It appeals to the ear.

3. Kinesthetics: Sense of touch and emotions
A bit of emotion and touch are also displayed in this story. Possibly, I could consider the inward display of indifference to 'the passenger' as a bit emotional and hostile.

Thumbs up here! Perfect display of hostility Lagos Molue is known for.

4. Olfactory: Sense of smell
The 'stench announce my surroundings'. So gross!

5. Gustatory: Sense of taste
Oops! Well, this couldn't be found in the story.


Anyways, I can't but pass it off as a great story.

Reply
Omolola Comfort
13/4/2020 02:56:15 pm

And until they are out, I do not rest!

The perfect mindset of a writer. Diligent, persistent and consistent.

Reply
Tony Obinna
17/4/2020 09:56:12 am

Lool, I love this flash fiction. Definitely a spec. I love how she used imagery in such a short piece. Beautiful.

Reply
Adewara Joses
18/4/2020 05:31:04 pm

Maybe this should have been longer. Or I'm just thirsty for more. This is so nice that it should just and there. Woohoo.

Anyways, I want to know how you later survived the nosy passenger.

The part two must be released. I await.

Reply
Kanayo Nzeoma
29/4/2020 07:10:44 pm

Stories from and about public commutes are always great. It's always something interesting each new day.
A fine read.

Reply



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  • Publications
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      • 2020 Why I Write
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  • Submit
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    • Nigerian Writers Database
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