UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER F

1/5/2023

By Babatimehin Asiwaju

what kind of poet am I
                                    if I cannot write a poem
about the first time my lips
collided with a beautiful damsel's?
                                       if I cannot write without
                                       entombing dead things
                                       inside my mouth.

as if I wasn't under a dimly-lit stairway
            with f—she, fair & beautiful.
                                                         the world, staying still
& my heart, jumbling-up the rhythm of its beat,
                                                                          as my tongue
walked the corridors of her mouth.

                                                        this is me saying
my lips still stretch into a smile
anytime I think of that night--
                                                      like the tenderness of her kiss
                                                      is just fresh upon it—sweet
as stolen waters. tell me,

what kind of poet cannot make a muse
of his first love?

                                                           because even now,
                                                                     this is not that
poem. this is just me,
second-guessing everything.
                                                       if I truly left to save her.
                                                       if I am still capable of retaining love.
                                                       if I should have ended this poem
on a sad note.

Writer's Biography

Babatimehin Aṣíwájú is just another (lost) boy/that seeks refuge in poetry. He has works published/forthcoming in Brittle Paper, Kalahari Review, African Writer Magazine, and Synchronized Chaos.

10 Comments

Priscilla Ajayi link

1/5/2023 11:28:46 pm

Beautiful! The poet is reminiscing the memories of the moments shared with his first love. Their passionate kiss and every other thing that follows. The poet believes he shouldn't be silent about his untold feelings.

Mitchelle

2/5/2023 12:29:20 pm

You're going places!

Era

13/5/2023 10:34:39 am

I love the cadence of this poem

The theme of love is described in way different from what we understand. I think this is what makes this piece unique. The subtle way the poet was able to describe the memories if his first kiss and how it ended.

Abamba Peace Chidinma

14/5/2023 12:06:57 pm

The piece is amazing.
Catchy first line that makes one want to read through, to find out what kind of poet the writer actually is. And the relatable poetry that causes the reader to reminisce on their own locked up memories.

Safiyya Ismail

18/5/2023 07:43:53 am

Epic!
This poem further explained that some moments of happiness are just unimaginable and explainable. Love is sweet!

Okuwhere Simon

19/5/2023 11:25:20 pm

The poet can't help remembering that lovely kiss.
He can't help remembering the love he had for the damsel.
he can't help getting inspired from his first love.
He isn't sure what kind of poet he is.
However, he isn't sure if he should end the poem on a sad note.

Solomon Hamza link

22/5/2023 11:04:22 pm

I believe the core message in Unhappily Ever After lies in the last line. Like all love stories, even ones that ended on a sad note, it is quite inevitable for lovers not to reminisce on the wonderfull love life they shared before the breaking apart and the writer does well in recounting this through his peom.
The poem began with the writer's account of his first kiss with his lover F. and that became the beginning of the end of their love. The writer also blames himself for being the cause for quenching the fire of love he had ignited in the heart of F. and wonders if he would be able to rekindle not only his love for her once more but that of his heart to love again.
What didn't quite sit well for me in this poem was the writer's use of poem structure and enjambment which I believe would be quite tedious to comprehend for a non poetry lover.

Ugwunebo Thelma

27/5/2023 10:14:54 am

This is a beautiful piece.

Saliu Waliyat Ayomiotan

27/5/2023 12:10:15 pm

This piece proves the assertion that poetry is art.

The author evoked the imagination of the reader by recounting each second of what he felt when his "lips collided with a beautiful damsel's".

Since it was his first love, the feeling, and kiss were new to him. Perhaps, it was the newness that paved the way to his indecisiveness.

All in all, this is a beautiful piece. It shows that sometimes lovers don't walk away because their feelings have changed. Sometimes, they walk away because they don't know what to do with that new feeling that makes the world stay still and the "heart, jumbling up the rhythm of its beat".

Wisdom Adediji

28/5/2023 08:58:26 am

Sometimes, we quarrel with poetry, or with ourselves for poetry's sake. But the truth is, we unconsciously do things poetically.

This is a thought provoking and challenging piece of writing for both poets and writers, we all feel bad if we can't get our pain across into writing, but we don't know that some memories a better left buried, untold.

This poem shyly describes the story of love, and how it ended abruptly. And in most lines of the poem, the persona is unsure if expressing the memories in a dark tone is a good manner of its narration, besides, the dark tone gave light to it's meaning and flow.

Great work there, Asiwaju.

UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER F

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Copyright @SprinNG 2023

UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER F

Leave a Reply.

Copyright @SprinNG 2023​

Copyright @SprinNG 2023