By Osho Olaìítan Jeremiah
i watch how my body begins to fold into the catharsis of poems in the library of my heart.
for many days, till today, i keep regurgitating the wax of a candle/ i do not know how to unmask the beauty of the fire from my face/ when i break a poem into my pupils' palms & bear my scars to the earth's mou/th --
- a boy clasps his tongue to his mother's chest/ he could not pin a fatherly love to himself
- a roaring gunshot behind the fallen day's dream
- gory/ eyes shut/ a metaphor for Rubygold & the portrait Jude painted in his mother's journey//
every day after other days, when i cannot bury the scars & go to bed alone, i tear the chains in the train & sing it, the threnody /take me/ to the throat of a dove/ where my skin annihilates thorns.
Osho Olaìítan Jeremiah is a young Nigerian poet, teacher and student blending his words into pieces of writing from the beautiful city of Abeokuta, Ogun state. He is an undergraduate of Lagos State University. He has poems published/forthcoming in Litround, Naijahotstars, Madswirl, Communicator's league, arts lounge and elsewhere.
When he's not writing poems, he's drafting lesson plans, cycling or walking side by side with a twin sister.
Nkemjika, Ifeoma Deborah
1/3/2022 11:14:16 am
The persona's devastated mood is quite consistent throughout the poem and it is evident in the unorganized writing and juggling imagery. This engaging.
1/3/2022 02:16:20 pm
I wonder, the use of double and single forward slash (/, //)... Was that intentional?
The emotions in threnody are strong and strangely familiar. A form of enjambed mourning mixed with syntax disobedience.
3/3/2022 05:51:32 am
“ a boy clasps his tongue to his mother's chest/ he could not pin a fatherly love to himself”
5/3/2022 11:02:35 am
The poem is oddly beautiful, one I like maybe because its gloomy tone makes you wonder what went on in the author's mind when he wrote it. A pure form of emotional release of anguish, It would be interesting to see the facial expressions if it was a spoken word poetry
6/3/2022 04:30:17 pm
The first part shows that the poet persona does not know how tot express his feelings....the second part shows that the poet persona is in pain.....d/ till today, i keep regurgitating the wax of a candle/ i do not know how to unmask the beauty of the fire from my face/......while the last part shows that the poet persona mourns....
7/3/2022 11:42:25 am
I like poem, and though I did not understand it, I got an idea of what it was about from the comments of others.
UJATA Samson Paul
9/3/2022 12:05:46 am
"for many days, till today, i keep regurgitating the wax of a candle/ i do not know how to unmask the beauty of the fire from my face/ when i break a poem into my pupils' palms & bear my scars to the earth's mou/th "
11/3/2022 05:13:13 pm
Threnody as the title imply shares the lamentation of the writer and a mourn of a means to nothing.
13/3/2022 03:14:12 am
I think this is the most well scripted poem I've read in a while.....
15/3/2022 12:43:27 pm
The poem “Threnody” encapsulates the sorrows of a mourner who in this case is the poet-persona.
23/3/2022 10:18:24 am
I commend the writer's accurate use of metaphor,describing one using another,with that he creates a world of comparison where one could be replaced with so much. Then the strategic display of dolefulness and a desperate need for alleviation at the end.
Michael Treasure Victor
23/3/2022 05:26:58 pm
You are making sense, but you should be very careful about laying down too many figurative words to enhance the great continuity of the audience's presence and in limiting the beauty of your write-up...In a nutshell, your words are somewhat overwhelmed figuratively and need you to give commentary to keep the work's beauty...Nice write up brother
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