Analysis of I Burn Incenses before Sleep BY Oyindamola Shoola

ERIATA ORIBHABOR POETRY PRIZE (EOPP) 2019 WINNING POEM

Click Here to Download the Full Anthology of the Winning Poems

Since its establishment, the intention of the Eriata Oribhabor Poetry Prize (EOPP) has been to “give the much-needed attention to Nigerian poetry and encourage young Nigerian poets to use poetry as a tool for social change.” From my perspective and experiences, people and things that have changed our communities and world are those who are willing to go to those places that people shy away from in thoughts, words, and actions. They are also people who are not afraid of offending others while implementing the change they desire for the best of those who are around them and beyond.
 
Similarly, in poetry when I see prompts like the one which EOPP has, I am looking for poetry that isn’t gentle; one that is vulnerable and raw. One with a unique perspective, passion, and influence that impacts even a person who isn’t a poetry lover. The prompt of the EOPP was to “submit well-worded poems on the sub-themes of Unity, Truth, Justice, Change and Sustainable Development in society, with focus on Nigeria – her people, cultures, experiences, hopes, and aspirations.”
 
One mistake that poets who submit for contests with prompts like this make is that they easily fall to what is very familiar, forgetting that many other entrants may propose the same idea and perspective. When evaluating the winning poems of this contest, even at first glance, you will find that they are distinguishable and with intent. Unlike some writers who would fall into the common spell of starting their poems with lyrics from the Nigerian anthem or pledge just because the prompt asks that the entrants focus on Nigeria, these winning poems found ways to make the prompt personal to them and their readers.

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CHINUA EZENWA-OHAETO, 
WINNER OF THE ERIATA ORIBHABOR POETRY PRIZE (EOPP) 2019  

―after reading Rasaq
Here you become afraid of the radios & televisions. 
You do not want to be swallowed by their voices.
You do not want to be held by names dropping from their bellies.
Hauwa, she grew a garden, and harvested blasted bones. Abiodun, she went to the market 
and her breath faded in the smoke. Onyejeno, he saw a friend off near Okpokwu and 
was burned alive. Sochimma, she held a school of flowers and was pulsed through knives. 
Ehi’zogie, his brother’s body was placed into a lighted tire for kissing a boy. 
Ebuka, Olisa’s friend, drowned with the mangled bodies sprouting at his backyard. 
Onoriode, she admired the moon and was nailed down into a burlap for godheads. 
Odimegwu, he stepped out for a stroll and caught a halo of blood around his neck. 
There are many strings around here. 
So many winding roads; so many broken things.
 
Broken laughter. Broken nights. 
Broken rivers. Broken lives.
 
Here, manifestoes have no eyes or ears, and no pleasure and dreams they claim.
My father, his mouth opens the loudest at 9: for fucksake, just imagine! 
My mother dives for our ears, she doesn’t want us to overhear, fucking thieves! 
they hold elections with armed forces and fight terrorism with prayers. 
Last week, a man left a house and vanished at the waterfront. The week before 
last week, a village was razed down by bright edges of machetes, and Ak-47s. 
Say this is what you get for living in this place, for walking a country.
Here, you become afraid of everything every day.
 
Yet, every night I burn incenses before sleep,
hoping that each dawn will someday
bring a new smile here: where people will grow to age; 
where people can stay and fit in; where love will flower and bloom 
and where peace and unity will grow for people in here to stay as one.

The poem that won the first position I Burn Incenses before Sleep employed the magic of pronouns using “You” in establishing rapport with the audience. The first line says “Here you become afraid of the radios & televisions.” Whether we know it or not, whenever we pick a book or any material to read, beyond what the writer has to say is our subconscious trying to find where we belong in the writer’s work. While the other poems that won the second and third position The Sound of Rainbow# and A Patriot's Requiem or an Immigrant’s Testament may not have used the pronoun “You,” they have similar effects. Their use of the pronoun “I” personalizes the poem and does two jobs simultaneously. It tells their own story and makes the reader own the story so that if I were to be reading it aloud, it would seem like mine and I would have a different level of emotional commitment or connection to the work. Not that other perspectives of choosing pronouns and characters in poems are necessarily wrong, but as writers, we need to be conscious of the different effects that our choice of words have on our readers and target demographic.
 
In poetry and contests like this, I also search for how the writer employs the knowledge that the target audience has. I Burn Incenses before Sleep references and highlights different stories of Nigerian sufferings and problems that have made headlines such as terrorism, jungle justice, homosexualism and more. Unlike the other poems that may have chosen one idea or problem to elaborate on, the author of I Burn Incenses before Sleep dabbled safely and quickly with these highlights which has an excellent representation of many areas that the prompts demand. Lines 3-9 says,
Hauwa, she grew a garden, and harvested blasted bones. Abiodun, she went to the market 
and her breath faded in the smoke. Onyejeno, he saw a friend off near Okpokwu and 
was burned alive. Sochimma, she held a school of flowers and was pulsed through knives. 
Ehi’zogie, his brother’s body was placed into a lighted tire for kissing a boy. 
Ebuka, Olisa’s friend, drowned with the mangled bodies sprouting at his backyard. 
Onoriode, she admired the moon and was nailed down into a burlap for godheads. 
Odimegwu, he stepped out for a stroll and caught a halo of blood around his neck. 
 
Another question that I ask myself is how poems utilize the characters that it has and makes their voice distinct. Unlike other poems, the characters in I Burn Incenses before Sleep have actual lives and experiences and the author did not just give names in the poems with a swirl of words around them. Each character is purposeful. The latter excerpt of the poem reminds me of a suggestion that Tolu Akinyemi gave when I struggled with switching from poetry writing to short story writing. He said that it might be helpful to see poetry as a summarized version of a short story and a short story as an elaborated version of a poem. One could almost imaginatively create the life and existence of the characters that the author of I Burn Incenses before Sleep employed.
 
Beyond the common themes and values that prompts insight, I always wonder, what the prompt didn’t directly ask for but still needs. The author of I Burn Incenses before Sleep answers this by pinching subtopics such as hypocritsm in Nigeria which is one that all can relate to. Especially, through the eyes of religion, we have been cajoled into believing that human-made problems are somewhat beyond human-made fixing; therefore, God should come down from heaven. In I Burn Incenses before Sleep the author writes, they hold elections with armed forces and fight terrorism with prayers. This line with contrasts of our human actions and demands was a home run form me. In this poem, you will find back to back haha! moments that come from ideas and perspectives which many of us think but out of the fear of offending our religious and questioning its effectiveness, refuse to express.
 
The ending of the poem also stood out to me because it takes us back to the beginning of the poem which is the poem’s title itself: I Burn Incenses before Sleep. In poetry writing, one thing that many developing poets fail to realize is that the title of your work is like the appetizer, main dish, and dessert. It serves the purpose of inviting your reader so if it isn’t appealing enough, it can chase your reader away. Second, as a main dish, it is that which your poem explores. Have you ever read a poem and asked yourself “so, how does this relate to the title?” Titles should be there with intention and not just for decoration. Finally, the last stanza of this poem reminds me of a saying by one of my favorite authors, Mitchell Jackson, the author of The Residue Years and Survival Math. In an opportunity to meet him, I had asked, “how do you know that you are at the ending of your work?” His response was something that I’ll never forget. He said, “You know that you are at the end when it takes you back to the beginning.” I Burn Incenses before Sleep doesn’t leave the reader hanging, despite its simplicity, it gives closure with the final stanza by returning to the beginning. It also gives the reader an action to take from its lessons. The last stanza of I Burn Incenses before Sleep states:
Yet, every night I burn incenses before sleep,
hoping that each dawn will someday
bring a new smile here: where people will grow to age; 
where people can stay and fit in; where love will flower and bloom 
and where peace and unity will grow for people in here to stay as one.
 
Other things that I admire about I Burn Incenses before Sleep include the unconventional line breaks that add to the poet’s style and the poem’s overall meaning about lives that have been lost and cut short at unprecedented times by the misfortunes that Nigeria bears. The poet's language is simple, but the coining of words were very intriguing and allowed room for great imagery. Lastly, the poet reached a height of honesty, passion and vulnerability, one that flawlessly implements its didactics and has the power to make people, things and systems that we hold religiously, uncomfortable.
 
 Without a doubt, the author of I Burn Incenses before Sleep is the type of writer who bear the spirits of great Nigerian poets and lyricists in past generations such as Wole Soyinka, Odia Ofeimun, Femi Osafisan, Fela Kuti Anikulapo and more; who refuse to be cowards in addressing the problems that Nigeria face with good anger.

Reviewer's biography

Oyindamola Shoola is a writer, feminist, and blogger. She is also the Co-founder of Sprinng Literary Movement, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting Nigerian writers.
 
In 2017 and 2018, she was awarded by Nigerian Writers Award as one of the top 100 influential Nigerian Writers under the age of 40. She published her first collection of poems titled Heartbeat in 2015. Her second book titled To Bee a Honey was republished by Jeanius Publishing in March 2018. Her third book, a prose poetry collection titled The Silence We Eatwas released in October 2018.
 
Oyindamola graduated from Bronx Community College in 2017 and currently works with the Accelerated Study in Associate Programs as a Peer Mentor. She is now a student at New York University, studying Organizational Behavior and Change.

Blog: www.shoolaoyin.com

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